“If cooking is a kind of occult magic then the recipe is a guide, escorting you through it – it is the cook’s job to make that trick their own, accepting mistakes and learning to salvage what has been left in the glowing embers. The recipe then has to be generous and accommodating – helping make room for the non-believers and for those who let their instincts lead the way.”
And
“After all, both cooking and recipe writing are acts of performance, they are overwhelmingly about the self, they often soothe anxieties about what to make for dinner (whether one follows the text till the end or not). I mean I get it. There are days when I only want to eat toast and butter, soft khichdi with pickle, ghee and yogurt, or simply my mother’s cooking. These are days I don’t want to cook, to perform, or be back to myself, and simply consider food as work. But that would be denying any responsibility for my part in the food system. I cannot, and no one can, do this in solitude. So what is a recipe for? It is an antidote to recover back to myself countless times, over and over again. A recipe is simply real life.”
Oh wow Apoorva, this is my first piece of yours I’ve read and I couldn’t have felt more connected. I related to everything you said, to things I’ve had trouble putting into words when my entire life all I would hear from others (though meant as a compliment) “what’s the recipe?!” almost demanding me to detail the every act, every ingredient used as if a robot could replicate it.
Cooking has always been a deeply personal experience to me, something that felt more of an art form rather than a chore (though yes I agree there are always those days that I couldn’t be bothered and need rice + eggs) and I’ve never known how to politely tell people “I don’t want to give you a recipe” because to give you a recipe is to reduce the ingredients of love, care and magic sprinkled in throughout.
Though I generally give an outline list of guesstimated measurements and ingredients (and substitutes), my heart always breaks a bit. To see the culture around recipe sharing turned into trend forward, ingredient viral recipes that lack substance but get a million clicks makes me cringe.
I can’t wait to dig through more of your work. Cheers from a fellow desi girl in California!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m also an “intuitive” cook. I learnt from watching my mother and grandmothers. And I always feel the tension between wanting to be as precise as possible (I’m also an editor and tend to read-review-edit too much probably) and wanting to add notes on how this cake I love might taste bland because I just like a cake that’s not too sweet or complex in its flavor. I’ve recently started taking videos of my process, and I think it’s nice because it offers more of that “learn by watching” approach (although the videos have to be heavily edited, because many won’t watch them past 30 seconds, so how much are they really learning by watching). I noticed some will just go for it, but many will wait for me to write it all up in detail. It’s a hard balance for sure.
I don't think of recipes as setting out rules...at best they are guidance, encouragement, inspiration. And you seem to be of the same mind☀️☀️
so happy you enjoyed this essay Naomi! <3
“If cooking is a kind of occult magic then the recipe is a guide, escorting you through it – it is the cook’s job to make that trick their own, accepting mistakes and learning to salvage what has been left in the glowing embers. The recipe then has to be generous and accommodating – helping make room for the non-believers and for those who let their instincts lead the way.”
And
“After all, both cooking and recipe writing are acts of performance, they are overwhelmingly about the self, they often soothe anxieties about what to make for dinner (whether one follows the text till the end or not). I mean I get it. There are days when I only want to eat toast and butter, soft khichdi with pickle, ghee and yogurt, or simply my mother’s cooking. These are days I don’t want to cook, to perform, or be back to myself, and simply consider food as work. But that would be denying any responsibility for my part in the food system. I cannot, and no one can, do this in solitude. So what is a recipe for? It is an antidote to recover back to myself countless times, over and over again. A recipe is simply real life.”
Oh wow Apoorva, this is my first piece of yours I’ve read and I couldn’t have felt more connected. I related to everything you said, to things I’ve had trouble putting into words when my entire life all I would hear from others (though meant as a compliment) “what’s the recipe?!” almost demanding me to detail the every act, every ingredient used as if a robot could replicate it.
Cooking has always been a deeply personal experience to me, something that felt more of an art form rather than a chore (though yes I agree there are always those days that I couldn’t be bothered and need rice + eggs) and I’ve never known how to politely tell people “I don’t want to give you a recipe” because to give you a recipe is to reduce the ingredients of love, care and magic sprinkled in throughout.
Though I generally give an outline list of guesstimated measurements and ingredients (and substitutes), my heart always breaks a bit. To see the culture around recipe sharing turned into trend forward, ingredient viral recipes that lack substance but get a million clicks makes me cringe.
I can’t wait to dig through more of your work. Cheers from a fellow desi girl in California!
thank you for the kind compliments and the thoughtful comment about recipe sharing! thank you for reading!!
Thanks for sharing this. I’m also an “intuitive” cook. I learnt from watching my mother and grandmothers. And I always feel the tension between wanting to be as precise as possible (I’m also an editor and tend to read-review-edit too much probably) and wanting to add notes on how this cake I love might taste bland because I just like a cake that’s not too sweet or complex in its flavor. I’ve recently started taking videos of my process, and I think it’s nice because it offers more of that “learn by watching” approach (although the videos have to be heavily edited, because many won’t watch them past 30 seconds, so how much are they really learning by watching). I noticed some will just go for it, but many will wait for me to write it all up in detail. It’s a hard balance for sure.