Accidental vegan burger

A meatless possibility for immediate gratification

Hey there! My name is Apoorva Sripathi, I’m a writer, editor, and artist. This week’s paid subscriber newsletter is a recipe for a burger that can be made in minutes for a quick lunch/dinner. I hope you’ll give it a go!

I really don’t have any memories to draw upon from my first burger eating experience. It may have been at a small bakery that sold stir-fried vegetables in between two slices of rough-hewn buns, their edges crumbling to obscurity into the ground, smeared with disquieting red ketchup and pushed on a paper plate and into my hands. It may have been at a slightly larger bakery whose version of a burger was baroque in a lot of ways: white ceramic plates; thick, almost lemony, cloying mayonnaise; a fried veggie patty whose oil oozed into the bun; warm lettuce, onions, and tomatoes all held barely together by a silver toothpick; and pale, salty fries as an accompaniment.

My adult burger experiences are fewer because I simply don’t enjoy a burger – I’d prefer a sandwich any day. If I had to get a burger, I’d get a fried chicken one, preferably doused in hot sauce with a zingy slaw. I like contrasts: between the shatteringly crisp and the comforting soft, the agonisingly spicy with the gratifying blandness. I have to say however, I have never had (what other people might call) a proper burger. Although I was raised as a vegetarian – for the wrong reasons¹ and reasons I’m constantly moving away from – I haven’t yet seriously considered the beef burger. Not because I’m trying to reconcile with my past but because I don’t think my delicate gut can handle its beefiness². Maybe someday I will³, but today I’d like to gently sustain myself by eating what I know.

And what I know are delightful accidents: every good thing I’ve ever made in the kitchen has come about because I’ve been willing to let go of rigid rules surrounding cooking and thinking and because I’ve been selfish. I aim to please myself by cooking the food that I will enjoy no matter what anyone thinks. I think it’s a good rule to have when you’re cooking for yourself (and for others sometimes, barring allergies and personal choices of course) and you’ll never be disappointed. The thing about accidents is that somewhere along the line there is planning. In particular, planning that has not gone the way you want it to. That is also the story of this burger.

You don’t have to automate a veggie burger for it to taste nice – you just need good ingredients and myriad possibilities. Black beans, kidney beans, peas, or chickpeas for the sturdy protein part. Some softness and binding in the form of potatoes, paneer, or tofu. Crunch in the form of blitzed nuts or finely diced bell pepper. Some mushrooms if you like⁴. Spices, pickles, sauces, and vegetables complete the list. Here I’ve gone for chickpeas, potato, tofu, spring onions, and red bell pepper, with ground cumin and chilli powder. But you can do paneer, peas, coriander, and spinach – a take on the hara bhara kebab. There is no wrong way to construct a veggie burger, but the right way will leave you singing for a long time.